Stately Dutch MILF Magnet [Craigslist ad]
This is a Batavus “PERSONAL” delivery bike. It’s black, has one speed, a coaster brake, a kick stand, chain case, racks, and a dynamo lighting system. I discovered it in the basement of the Smith and Butler boutique in Carrol Gardens last October.
I am selling this bicycle because my therapist suggested I need to come to terms with my attraction to african-american women. No sister is going to date a 34 year old systems administrator riding a european grocery bike. However, when I would cruise slowly down Park Slope’s fifth avenue, panties would literally fly off of every white or asian woman with a stroller and a master’s degree.
I live in Williamsburg now and the bike confuses most of the women here. If I grow my moustache out a little and explain it only has one speed “like a fixie” I can sometimes get to second base. But for the most part I might as well have a soul patch and collect classic cameras. If you want to get some action I’d only take this baby out south of Atlantic Avenue.
Spring is coming and if you like flat-assed waspy moms who went to Vassar, this is the ride you need.
Oh Craigslist. You are so golden.
